The purpose for my life and for your life is to be loved by our Abba.
In response, we are called to be ministers of that Love. But first and foremost, our ministry is to God. We are called to minister to our Creator, the One who Loves and IS LOVE. We are to worship Him and praise Him above all else. Everything God does to us and for us is for our own good. Our "ministry" to God, therefore is for our benefit and the good of us, not Him. He does not need our worship and praise; He does not just sit up in heaven getting His ego stroked by every word of worship and praise from us; He is not egoistic. His love is so great, and His goodness so incomprehensible, that our ministry to God is actually for us because He loves us so much. Bill Johnson wrote, "You become what you worship." God knows that. And He knows He is the most powerful and that nothing can offer more than Him. When we worship Him, we are transformed by and into the best possible thing in the world, because it does not get any better than God. As we worship the Creator of Heaven and Earth, we encounter His love, His goodness, His compassion, His kindness, His gentleness, His majesty, His power, and nothing is better. In experiencing Him through worship, we are never the same again. Instead, with every encounter with the Creator, we are transformed into more of His likeness, because we have felt, tasted, and seen more of who He is. That is when we grow, we change, we become transformed into people who are more like Christ, and in that become more like who we are meant to be, ourselves.
God is so good. Trust that. Trust that EVERYTHING that God does, everything He allows to happen or doesn't allow to happen will turn out for our good. Because He is a LOVE that is so great, that goes beyond anything we will ever understand, anything we could ever imagine, His reasons are always out of His Love for us.
Abraham and Isaac is an example. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only son, whom he loved so much, Isaac. In obedience, Abraham took Isaac and left for a place God would reveal to him to be the place to make the sacrifice. In our human thinking this makes no sense. Why would God ask Abraham to kill his own son? Once God revealed the spot to sacrifice Isaac, Abraham built an altar, tied up his son, and raised the knife in the air. But God, never having the intent to actually let Isaac die, called out to Abraham and told him not to touch Isaac. I do not think God was testing Abraham's obedience. God already knew Abraham would have done it; God knows everything before it even happens. Since God does everything for our good, this request was for the good of Abraham. God asked Abraham to do this so he could see that he can trust God with everything, even the thing that was the most precious to him in all of his life, his dearly loved son. God was able to show Abraham that He was good, that He could be trusted.
When God is jealous for our hearts, it is not because He needs us. It is because He loves us enough to know that when we give Him all that we have, all that we desire, all that we are holding on to, that is when We are most able to be filled with Him and His goodness and that is when we are able to become most like Him. When we are emptied of ourselves and our own desires there is more room for Him. When we are filled with Him, our lives are rich in abundant love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, hope, and passion that we could never get from anything other than God Himself.
God thank you for your unfathomable love and goodness. Thank you for wanting to fill us up with more of you, all because you love us enough to want us to experience life to the fullest.
While in the village of Muterere, we arrived at a school to teach the students and share the Bible with them. There were at least 300 kids in front of us, and we began by singing some songs. The children were singing a praise song when all of the sudden a girl, named Kadogo, started to fall down and it looked as if she was fainting. The pastor with us knew right away that she needed to be delivered, but nobody moved or did anything. Then Jennifer ran to her and with the strength of a Mighty woman of God, she bent down and picked the girl up (a girl her own size) and Lauren and I helped her as we carried her off behind a tree. There we just started praying for her. We spoke life into her, told the demons to leave her, and spoke truth to her of who she really is. She could not hold herself up, she was weeping, and speaking to what translated as the spirit of her grandmother. It was clear she was being haunted and was filled with fear and worry. We just continued to pray over. She finally came to and was able to talk. Not knowing if she was free, I asked her if she could say, "Jesus is Lord." She could not, she could speak, but once it came to saying anything about God or Jesus she explained there was something in her throat and tongue that wouldn't let her speak. We told her that Jesus wants to set her free. Jennifer told her to nod her head yes if she wanted Jesus to set her free and give her life to him. She nodded yes. So we prayed with her. After we prayed and she accepted Jesus, we commanded her tongue to be loosened. I asked her then to say, "Jesus is Lord." Then out came a faint whisper, "...Jeeeesssuuusss," and then again and again, "Jeeesssuuussss." Each time the cry got louder and into a shout, "Jeeeesssuusss!" Then she said, "Jesus is Lord."
Jesus came to her. He rescued her. He brought her freedom. And now she is His!
I am reminded of Psalm 18:1-19
A beautiful description of the Lord coming to our rescue in our times of desperation as we call out to Him.
"I love you, Lord: you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior, my God is my rock, in whom I find protection, He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. The ropes of death entangled me, floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path. But in my distress I cried out to the Lord, yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears. The earth quaked and trembled. The foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of his anger. Smoke poured from his nostrils, fierce flames leaped from his mouth. Glowing coals blazed forth from him. He opened the heavens and came down; dark storm clouds were beneath his feet. Mounted on a mighty angelic being he flew, soaring on the wings of the wind. He shrouded himself in darkness, veiling his approach with dark rain clouds. Thick clouds shielded the brightness around him, and rained down hail and burning coals. The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded amid the hail and burning coals. He shot his arrows and scattered his enemies; his lightning flashed, and they were greatly confused. Then at your command, O Lord, at the blast of your breath, the bottom of the sea could be seen, and the foundations of the earth were laid bare. He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress, but the Lord supported me. He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me."
In His fierce and crazy love for Kadogo, I saw Him storming out of Heaven to His daughter in distress. In all of His power and might, He scattered her enemies, the evil spirits afflicting her. He came to her rescue. He set her free and now she is resting in the safety of His arms and the Love that IS God. All because God loves so passionately and He is in the business of freeing His people!
The word spread that miracles were happening. While in Muterere, a beautiful bush village in Uganda, people flocked to us asking for prayer for healing.
An older woman came to where we were staying and asked for prayer. She showed us the swelling all around her belly and going to her back. She has been afflicted with this pain for 18 years. We asked her if she was a Christian and she said no, and that she was only going to believe in Jesus if she got healed. We said alright, and Ashley went on to tell her of the love that Jesus has for her. Then we prayed. After we prayed we asked how she was feeling and she explained how she felt moving inside of her and that some of the pain went away as we prayed. I asked if she believed that what she felt was the power of Jesus that took away some of the pain, she said yes, but still refused to accept Jesus until she was totally healed.
I shared with her that the pain she is feeling in her body, while it is awful and very unfortunate, is only temporary. Our lives on earth are just a short time. It is awful to have pain, and I am sorry it has been afflicting her for so long, but it would only be for a short time while she is alive on this earth. But I told her that our souls are eternal. Our souls are always going to feel, for all of eternity. She has a choice. Jesus offers our soul life, love, joy, peace, comfort, hope, and every good thing. She has a choice for her soul. Her soul can either be with Jesus after this life and experience pure joy and love, or she can choose to not have her soul with Jesus. And that other place is a place where she will feel eternal pain and agony, much worse than any pain she is feeling now. She still didn't want to accept Jesus, and I just told her to think about it. And then she left.
A few hours later I heard some commotion outside so I went to check it out. I saw the woman we had prayed for earlier. She came back to us saying she wanted to accept Jesus. The commotion I heard was celebration and cheering because she came back and gave her life to Jesus. There was a young boy, 13 years old, who came running, with the biggest smile I have ever seen, he came arms out and jumped into that woman's arms. We all started praising Jesus. It turns out that boy was her nephew and a strong Christian. He has been pursuing his aunt for some time and said that if he can get her to us, the Mzungus, that she would be saved. That day she was saved.
I shared that testimony in church and it hit me that we don't always see the results of what we do or say. There are many people who receive what we tell them about Jesus and want what Jesus has to offer. But there are others that turn us down. It is hard in those moments because we want them to feel the love of Jesus, and we want them to experience the truth and the freedom that Jesus offers. But this story gives hope. We don't know the end result, we don't know what they decide an hour, a day, or a week after we leave them. God didn't have to show us that this woman ended up accepting Him. But I believe He showed us to give us hope. That even when we share His story and people deny it, they may accept it later on. So keep sharing the Love that IS God, keep telling of the Freedom God has to offer, keep spreading the Good News, that He loves more than we will understand, that there is so much grace, that He is just wanting our acceptance and love because He loves US so much!
Uganda has been up and down. I arrived here a couple of weeks ago and immediately felt the presence of witchcraft and spiritual warfare. Plagued by sleepless nights, waking up in fear, and total exhaustion. Our days are long, 12-13 hour days of constant preaching, teaching, praying for the sick, ministering to prisoners, and sharing the Gospel message. People were coming to the Lord, but we were exhausted.
But praise God, He totally redeemed Uganda for me! While the first week was frustrating and filled with a heavy spiritual climate, this past week has been a totally different story! God has been moving. God has been claiming His people!
We moved around a few times, staying in different bush villages. Two of the most wonderful places I have been so far on the race. God's glory shines through the beauty of His creation here! While our days are still long, God sustained, His joy was our strength, and His Kingdom Came!
The blind have received sight, the lame have walked, the deaf have heard, demons have been cast out, and hearts have been given to Jesus! People are experiencing the freedom that comes with Jesus, the healings that come with Jesus, and the LOVE that IS Jesus!
This is real life. This is my life. And I love it.
And I preached in a church for the first time and enjoyed it!!
God is moving...God is claiming His children...God is rescuing His beloved!
In this blog I'm combining both my words and Jennifer Mitchell's blog. Her words are in italics.
What does it feel like to have all
of your debts completely paid for? What thoughts would go through your
mind if you never felt the burden of finances again? This week I got a
little taste of heaven as I watched God free a precious girl from her
burdens...
After dinner one night, we were introduced to a young girl named Salome and this her story...
Salome is sixteen years old and is in high school. She is a
sweet, quiet girl who aspires to be a lawyer some day. She is a born again
Christian, she loves Jesus and she attends church. Her life has been anything but
easy.
She is an orphan. Her father died before she was born and her mother died when she was just six months old. From that time until she was eight years old
she went from house to house as different people watched her at different
times. When she was eight years old she came to live with her aunt and uncle.
She started to go to school, but it came a time where her aunt told her not to
go anymore so she could watch and take care of her aunt's child. Salome did not
agree and continued to go to school. Her aunt became angry with her and told
her she would never succeed. She also stopped paying for her school fees.
Salome, determined to stay in school, would fetch firewood and water for people
to earn enough money so she could continue to stay in school. Often times she
came up short and her teachers would try to help her out with some of her
costs. Her uncle practices witch craft and put a spell on her. She explained it
as something would be crawling through her belly all the way up to her chest
and as it sat in her chest she would not be able to breathe. She suffered from
this spell for two years. As she was telling us her story, emotions of her
situation and her past caused her to break down recalling it all.
She talked of a time when she was sleeping at home. All the
sudden she was woken up and felt something tell her to get out of the house as
quickly as possible. As soon as she did, the wall came crashing down where she
had been sleeping, and would have killed her had she stayed. From that moment
on she gave her life to Jesus. Having no parents, no family, an aunt and uncle
who have treated her poorly and beat her, put spells on her, is on her own and
finding extreme difficulty finding money to go to school. She is going through
terribly hard times, and quiet frankly has been going through terribly hard
times all of her life. Members from her church have been trying to help her out
with school but are no longer able to do so. I recently learned that she was in
school but was kicked out of class because she was behind on her school fees
and owing too much. Having no place to go she was hiding out in the girls'
bathroom. She is a bright, beautiful girl with a PURPOSE, a hope, and a DREAM.
She is humble, diligent, very hard working, and committed to the things of God.
We found out her school fees are only $135 for the entire year, and that is the only thing preventing her from fulfilling
her dream.
The
next day, our team prayed and pooled our resources and decided that we
would pay for Simone's school this year. So Martha and I hopped on
motorcycles to the girls' school about 30 minutes away. I then watched
a quiet, small girl blossom right in front of me. It was like a huge
rock had been lifted off of her. I watched as Simone jumped up and
down and smiled bigger than her face could hold. She was elated.
Words cannot express the joy that was in the room at that moment.
It was then that I began thinking about the situation from an
eternal perspective. It was almost like I could see God doing the same
thing for us. As sinners, we deserve nothing at all. Our sins compile
debts that we could never repay. We were suffering and dying under the
weight of it all. Then Jesus came and completely paid our debts in
full. Now we get to live in freedom, free from that bondage and
burden. Praise God that our debts are paid in full!
And the best part is, that God removed our debts, not because of any
merit of our own, but because he loves us that much. My team was
overwhelmed with love for Simone after meeting her just once. We knew
we had to do something to help her. How much more so does God love us
and want to give good gifts to his children!! Best of all, he paid a
debt that he did not owe, so we could be free – We are paid in full.
-----------------
God please continue to bring provision
into her life, so she may continue to stay in high school and eventually become
a lawyer, as her heart desires! I believe you will provide for her because you
love her fiercely, passionately, unconditionally, and recklessly.
And this is a very common situation here. She is just an example
of the young people here and what they go through.
Jesus is a call to Freedom--a freedom that comes from His
abundant LOVE and never ending GRACE.
And there is nothing
like it.
I am just beginning to realize what God's grace really
means. Grace is a word that has been thrown around to a point where I found
myself not really understanding what it meant, not understanding the beauty and
hope that is grace. But lately God has been revealing to me what His grace
actually means for ME.
And it is FREEDOM! Because of God's immeasurable love
for us, He has covered us in abundant grace, which brings complete freedom. It
is such a feeling of release! I am totally free in His love for me! I am free
from worry. I am free from fear. I am free from my past failures. I am free
from my future failures. Free to mess up. Free to fall short more often than I
wish. I am free because, as Brennan Manning said, "He expects more failure from
me than I expect from myself." And the beautiful thing is, He loves anyway. When
I choose to accept the fact that He has already forgiven me, I am free to move
on, and not to move on would be a disgrace to Him. Regardless of how many times
we fail and to what extent His love never changes and His grace is always
there.
And because of this I am free to love more passionately and
recklessly. Free to serve without recognition. Free to grow even if it hurts.
Free to listen. Free to hope. Free to laugh without fear of the future. Free to
sing louder. Free to give more generously. Free to just BE. All because His grace
and love covers everything that could ever happen and will ever happen.
Nothing we will
ever do can surprise Him. He knew everything we were going to do BEFORE He sent
Jesus to die on the cross. God knew all the mistakes we were going to make, all
the sins we were going to commit, all the unthinkable things we were
going to choose into, and knowing all that, knowing everything you and I were
going to do, He STILL sent His Son. In that God is saying, "I know everything
you do and have yet to do, but I love you anyway, I sent Jesus anyway, because
those things you did it, doesn't waver the love I have for you. So when Jesus
died on the cross, you were forgiven of everything in that moment. So don't be
too ashamed that you neglect to come to Me. When you are too ashamed to come to
Me you are refusing to accept the most precious of gifts I have given you. I
already gave you the gift, it has been given to you and I can't take it back,
so just pick it up and accept it. Take it and enjoy it. It is yours already just
pick it up."
Our Father is calling out to us in a pleading whisper, "Call
on My name, just call on Me just as you are, right where you are, just call on
Me and you will be free. Call on Me so that I can run to you. I long to run to
you, to wrap My arms around you, to cover you with My comfort, to fill you with
My peace, to shower you in My grace, to consume you with My love, My crazy,
reckless, unexplainable love, but you need to want Me. I am beckoning you, but
you need to let me come."
My heart's desire is for everyone to experience this Freedom
in living out of God's grace and love! And the beautiful thing, it is for you
RIGHT NOW, JUST AS YOU ARE. And everyone already has this beautiful gift being
held out for them. It is already yours. All you need to do is accept it! Accept
His freedom that flows from His grace and love and that is the secret to living
life to the fullest, living life abundantly.
His love, His passionate, reckless, fierce, unexplainable and undeserved love, doesn't make sense. His grace doesn't make sense.
He doesn't hold grudges; He doesn't want us wallowing in our mistakes filled
with regret. He doesn't need or want an explanation for what we have been
doing, why we did the things we did. All He wants is for us to come back to
Him, and accept the fact that we are truly loved.
So just come. Just answer his beckon to be loved; to rest in
his grace. Live in the freedom that comes in Christ Jesus. Accept His love for
you; accept His grace that flows from His love. And move forward, pressing into
His heart. As you do this, your life will be transformed. It is then that you
can live in any situation and have complete joy.
He is calling out to you. His gentle whisper is calling you
by name. Come to Him. Let Him love you. Rest in His presence alone. Receive and
understand that His grace is the answer for freedom.
Beatrice is doing well. Each time I see her she seems to be
more aware and have more energy. Her father seems to be doing well also. He
looks different, brighter, more at peace.
As you know we have been trying to find a better situation for
Beatrice so she can get well. We looked at a couple of orphanages, and they
were great, but we kept praying about it. We have taken her to see a
pediatrician and a physical therapist. She will be going to the physical
therapist three days a week to build her muscles in her legs and arms. She will
also be going to a speech therapist. She needs a lot of care, a lot of
attention and a lot of love. But the doctors are hopeful and so are we!
It is really important for her father to make these decisions. We told him that we don't want to come in
as Americans and take his daughter away, thinking we know what is best. I told
him that we deeply care and love him and his daughter and want what is best for
both of them. I told him his daughter needs him and that it is important he
stays in her life; that it is his decision what happens next with
his daughter. He said he wants her to go, he wants to be free. So that is what is happening.
Through prayer and sought out wisdom we feel it is best for
Beatrice to go stay with a woman from the church we were serving with. It has
been arranged for Elka (a woman of God, a member of the church, whom we did
hospital visits with) to take her into her home and feed her, love on her, and
take her to the doctor, physical therapist, nutritionist, and speech therapist.
Elka is
a loving mother of 3 children; two older boys and a young daughter. I trust and believe that God placed her where she is
and she is just the one to care for her. I believe she will be loved, be
nurtured, she will get motherly affection and learn to trust after being
abandoned by her own mother. Now there is hope for little Beatrice. Hope for a
future.
Our hope is for her father to continue to get discipled and grow and mature in his walk with God, and when he is more stable and able to provide for his daughter he will be able to get her back. This is a time for Beatrice to get healthy and well and for her father also to be able to stand on his feet.
Thank you for praying and supporting Beatrice. Please
continue to keep her in your prayers!
It was difficult to say goodbye to her, but I know and trust
she is in good hands!
(Beatrice's name is actually Melissa and her father's name
is John, translation errors we found out later, but Beatrice has stuck with me)
I spotted her from a distance sitting in the sun all alone. Right away I could tell something was not right. I approached the little girl to find her sitting in her own urine, bottomless wearing only a torn, dirty shirt. She was so, so tiny. I bent down to touch her. All I knew to do was call on the name of Jesus in desperation. Her body so frail and little, I thought she was maybe between 1 and 2. Who is this little girl? Why is she all alone? Wanting to know about her we asked around the area trying to find answers to this little girl's situation. Soon after, her father came summoned by some neighbors.
We find out her name is Beatrice and she is seven years old. Her mother abandoned her and her father is not able to provide the food she needs. She is literally starving to death.
Later on, in desperation, I called my mother in tears, telling her about the little girl I met. She reassured me to do what ever it took to save this little girl, no matter what.
So the next morning we went to where she lives, finding her sitting all alone once again, we asked her father, Melisa, if we could take her to the doctor, he picked her up and to the doctor we went. Phillip, Melisa, Beatrice and I piled into the doctor's office. There the doctor asked Melisa questions.
Beatrice was born a healthy baby, no health problems or complications. But due to a lack of food and nourishment her development and growth was stunted. Malnutrition caused mental and physical retardation. She can't speak, her only words are papa, her cry is a high-pitched whimper, and she is too weak to walk on her own. Never have I seen what a lack of nutrition can do to someone's development. Born into such poverty, the father talked of nights she slept outside in the cold. To ease the hunger pains the father admitted to giving her alcohol because that was so cheap and all there was.
The doctor said she is an extreme case of malnutrition and the best thing to do is to get her into a facility where she will be taken care of and fed. He said that this is a social problem more than anything, and for her long term health it was best to get her out of her father's care since he isn't able to provide and into a children's home where she can get nursed back to health. When those words were translated into Swahili for the father to understand I watched as tears welt up in his eyes and ran down his face. I will never forget the look of pure, hopeless desperation on that father's face.
This was not my purpose. I did not want to separate the child from her father. My mind and heart was racing in that doctor's office. My heart was torn. Do we take this little girl from the only thing she has, her father who she loves to make sure she is fed and won't starve to death? But in this facility will she feel love from the staff? Which is more important, food or love?
Although it clearly pained him, the father said he is willing to give his child up so she can be taken care of and nursed back to health. It wouldn't be permanent, but until she recovers and the father can come for her when he can show he can provide for her. The doctor said that although she probably will never be 100% better because she is so far behind in development, with proper care and nutrition she will definitely improve. But my God is the ultimate Healer and Provider and nothing is impossible for Him!
After the doctor's visit I invited them to come eat some of our lunch. I loaded up rice on a plate and a banana and gave it to the man. He sat his daughter on the ground and put the plate in front of her. I will never forget the way that little one grabbed that food and continually shoved it into her mouth with her little fingers. She devoured the banana and almost the whole plate of rice, until we took it away so she wouldn't get sick from eating so much. I also prepared a plate for the father and his was gone in a matter of seconds. Clearly neither of them have eaten for days.
I went back to talk with the doctor to see how much we owed for the visit. He told me we owe him nothing, and he thanked me for our concern and love for the people of Kenya. Praise God!
To satisfy the immediate needs of food and nourishment Phillip and I took Melisa and Beatrice shopping for some food. We stopped at a few market stands and the grocery store. During our walk I wanted Melisa to understand that this wasn't being done out of pity, that he wasn't just a charity case, but it was because of the love of Jesus. Everything was Jesus. Jesus loves him so much and wants him and his daughter taken care of. Once we got all of the food, fruits and vegetables and supplies they would need for a while, we walked back to his house. I had sweet Beatrice in my arms as we walked, and she just rested her little head on my shoulder. You could tell she didn't see the outside world much, as she was scared of the people on bikes and occasional cars that would go by. People stared and gawked at us walking, and I just cradled her in my arms and covered her head with my hand, trying to show that she was ok and safe in my arms. We got to his house and he invited me in because he wanted me to pray for him. I walk in to his house, a mud hut, all that fit in it was a spring bed frame with some ripped up foam pieces on it and a tiny walking space in between the length of the bed and the wall. The smallest room/house I have ever seen. When we were in the house I asked him what he wanted prayer for. Phillip told me he wants to know and experience this Jesus mentioned earlier. So there in his little room of a house I walked him through prayer and he confessed to wanting and needing Jesus as tears built up in his eyes and ran down his face. He is coming to church on Sunday and on Friday we are bringing him a bible!
Amidst the tragedies, the poverty, these heart wrenching situations I DECLARE that my God is good, He is faithful, He is sovereign, He is Love, He is compassionate, He cares, and He works all things for good. Today His son came home. And tomorrow is in His hands.
We don't know what to do, but God knows exactly the right steps to take. God reveal your will for us and your will for your precious daughter.
Please keep Beatrice and Melisa in your prayers. God bless you.
"Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."
Luke 15:7
I decided to watch the Kenya section this morning, I knew what would happen today and I wanted to see it with my own eyes. It is ALWAYS such a beautiful sight... words will never do it justice...BUT I will try.
We all know the ending to the day but even so, it is marvelous to watch it unfold. We have been waiting for Martha, Jenn, and Ashley to visit homes in Bungoma for their entire existence. And we know that Morrine, Beva, and Hadeja are in the last house they will visit. Our Jesus has already prepared the way and there is a crowd of angels surrounding their house and when you look to the heavens you can see the crowd of angels peering over the balcony in Heaven.
I can feel all of our hearts start to beat faster and in unison as they approach the house of these 3 girls.
They walk in and pour out the words of Jesus Christ to these women. We all marvel at Jenn as she explains who Jesus is and what He came to do and once again, we marvel at Jesus and His plan.
This moment starts with Morrine...and just as Jenn says the words "if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord..." we feel the YES in Morrine's heart come out of her mouth. Without even waiting for the end of the word to be verbalized...a celebration begins.
OH IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE IT!
It is a music that is nowhere else found in the universe.... extraordinary colors seem to dance about the heavens, new instruments and songs are played. It is a sound so loud that if you were to hear it out of context it would be too loud to endure...but because you know a child just ran home to the FATHER...it is perfectly fitting. The sound that erupts within us is echoed out before us.
ALL IN PRAISE TO THE KING OF KINGS!!
It echoes throughout the vast expansion of the heavens that ALL may know that Christ is Lord. There is a holy uproar. Choirs start, joy is made anew, hope shines forth with a GLORIOUS light pointing to our Creator.
As the balcony ahead continues in Praise and celebration I peer closer down to the scene because I know there is more. I see Martha read to Morrine from the Holy Word of the Lord and say "And how precious are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more than the sand; when I awake I am still with You." Ashley assures Morrine that she IS created for a purpose and NOTHING she will EVER do, and nothing in this world, will EVER separate the love that Christ has for her.
And as they are talking I can feel the hearts of Beva and Hadeja beat faster, and I know that even though Martha and Ashley don't know they are speaking to these girls...THEY ARE.
And I know the other two girls are about to feel the Yes. I watch as Phillip talks to them saying even if you are Muslim, you can still accept Christ and that He loves them...
Then I feel it.
I really feel it.
I cannot explain to you how it feels.
In human terms, I figure it can best be described, as losing a child, but first investing everything you have in them. EVERYTHING. Only to lose them, almost in an instance and for years you pray. ON YOUR KNEES. You sweat blood. You can sense that they are alive. But you have yet to find them. And you pray more. You pray continually. And then....one day when you feel something in your heart and you can't explain it. And it causes you to jump up and run out of the door. And there RUNNING to you is your child. Imagine that celebration. And that...is a worldly, unexciting version in comparison to the celebration that happens in Heaven.
Just as I feel it, I know that celebration number 2 happens as Hadeja and Beva confess with their mouth that Jesus is Lord.
It is a glorious celebration again. Yet it feels, as it always does, like the first time. like the first time we witnessed a child of God running home. And the light from the heavenly realm is SO glorious that it pierces the cloud cover and actually places itself on Kenyan soil. The music is heard high and low as we rejoice over the 3 women that have come home.
Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!
Allelujah!
And that is only a tiny glimpse of what actually happened today. English will never be able to develop words that can explain to you how it really went down, or what the music actually sounded like, or how splendid the colors that danced around actually looked like.
When am I going to get it? When am I going to know how to be Christ? Last night I was convicted about something. The little kids who come running to me yelling "Mzungu", who ask, "how are you?", who wait expectantly for me to hold out my hand and touch each one of theirs, I stop for these kids, each one of them. But what about the little adolescent boys who can't be more than 13 and maybe as young as 9 or 10, carrying what only looks to be alcohol, who holds out his hand asking for food, money, anything. I have found myself not stopping for them. With judgment and preconceived notions, I think they will probably pick pocket me. How dare I. Did I stop for these boys? No, with arms full, water in hand, I just kept on walking, with a sympathetic look, saying, "sorry, I'm sorry..." as I'm protecting my things. As I was lying in my bed last night it hit me, Martha, why didn't you stop for them (Why didn't you stop for Me). Why am I not ministering to them? Why am I not showing God's love to them? Those are the ones Jesus would have ate with. Those are the ones Jesus would have sought out, saying "come and follow me, be my friend, I love you." Why am I not trying to make a difference in their lives? They deserve my time, my attention, my acceptance, my love. So I was determined to start the next day with this conviction in mind-that I would stop for them, no matter what. No matter how much I had in my hands or where I needed to go. I would stop for them, so that some way or some how they might feel they are worthy, they are accepted, they are cared for, they are loved.
Today God gave me another chance. A boy who was probably 12 years old, no shoes, torn clothes, mysterious bottle in hand came up to me. He asked me to buy him food. I held out my hand to him, he took it. I asked him his name, I asked him his age, I asked him what was in that mysterious bottle and why. He told me it was glue. He asked me to buy him food once again. I saw a woman selling bananas on the side of the road, so I went to her and bought a 10 shilling banana. I handed it to him, he said thank you and walked off. Then I proceeded to my destination where I bought a 40 shilling coke. Apparently I still haven't gotten it.
